My God, I CAN'T Quit!
That thought penetrated my heart so deep it scared me. All those years of believing I could quit anytime I wanted to were blown away, and I was face to face with my inability to make my body stop putting those sticks of death in my mouth. Nearly FOUR packs per day at the age of 32. How could this get so bad in 18 years? More than a half dozen times in the past ten years I had half-heartedly attempted to stop the habit. It seemed that each time I attempted to quit, I wound up smoking more each day.
SWITCH PATTERNS
Maybe if I just switched what I smoked it would help,” I thought, (trying again to convince myself with a lie). So I switched to a pipe. This slowed down the intake each day at first. But then I found my daily intake slowly increasing until a pouch of tobacco only lasted a day -- then half a day! My mind began flashing back ..... You want to smoke..... Here, let me light them for you... The voice of my father blasted the air. Holding a pack of Pall Mall's ((no filter)) in my face, he made me take one, and lit it for me. He was steaming mad that I had enticed my younger brother Jim to join with me and smoke, plus the fact he had to come in from the fields to discipline me.
One after another he made me smoke, all the while voicing his distaste about it. My youth, my rebellion, my hiding it, my lying and deceiving my little brother. Deceiving..... it was Jim who had gotten the last several packs. But my voice could not sing out, I was smoking in fear, sucking death as fast as I could, all the while crying. At times the tears and slobber from my mouth would smother the cigarette and my father would give me another. Jim stood behind my father, smoking casually as I was disciplined. I smoked about four to his one.
I smoked until I was turning green inside, and finally, thank God, we ran out of cigarettes. The afternoon was spent laying down in a manure pile while Jerry, one of my older brothers, was emptying loads of manure, and then helping him fill the spreader again. I felt green for two days. I found out later that it was Jerry who had seen the smoke rising from the weed patch and had told Dad about it. I was only 13 years old at the time. One would think I would never smoke again.... one would THINK....
It was not very long, however, before I was enticed again to have "just one drag" and "that won't hurt anything". Well, soon it was becoming two or three drags, and then a whole cigarette. Then on to the pack. I even stole cigarettes from the workers that came to the farm to work. Then I would have to lie that I had no idea where their cigarettes went. Of course I wouldn't tell them that they were hid inside the walls in the calf barn. I mean, I didn't want to die. I wasn't that crazy. And I certainly didn't want to ever have to chain-smoke another pack of cigarettes with someone hollering at my face!
Spied on..... One morning in my senior year, I looked out of the window about 6:00 in the morning after a late night out with my girlfriend. My mother was looking through my car for cigarettes. I'm sure she could smell the smoke in the car, even though I had "accidentally" "forgot" to close the windows when I came home. Of course, she couldn't find them. (What mother would think of looking in the air vent (remember the 49 Fords) for a pack of butts and lighter. Feeling smug about my hiding place, my day seemed to go better.
Cheaper by the Carton... Shortly after graduation, I was smoking a full pack a day. This was a bit of work, as I worked on the farm where I couldn't smoke in view of anyone, so my smoking had to be at night away from there. I was gone nearly every night nearly all night long. And work during the daytime, which began about 6:00am and finished after chores and supper at 6:30pm I wouldn't be one-quarter of a mile down the road before I lit up again, giving a sigh of "relief".
Upon entry into the US Air Force, I was relieved to see the price per carton was drastically reduced. Now I could smoke as many as I wanted to without worrying about how much they cost. Of course, I didn't think at that time that the amount of money I made was drastically reduced. At the farm, I was paid minimum wage for the summer hours. Here working for "Uncle Sam", I was barely getting paid at all. It was something like $87 per month, plus room and board. Smokes were $2.00 per carton at that time.
Soon it was two packs per day. In the early morning, I would hear myself say: "Boy, this sure tastes good this morning..." What a disgusting lie that turned out to be years later. What a snare I was tying around myself. With my own heart and tongue I was creating the snare that would hold me captive for years. Here in my room on Long Island, NY the snare became ever so strong. During this time my desire to quit began to quietly rise in my inward heart. I began to be tired of smoke-burnt eyes. Waking up with a mouth full of skuzz, which only seemed to be removed by having another cigarette. It seemed to make it taste better or something.
On the farm we learned to drink of lot of water to keep from dehydrating during the hot summer months of hard work. But that was water straight from the well, not this "city water" that had more junk in it that was supposed to be "good" for you. I began to turn to cola for refreshments. Little did I know the chemical work that would take place. I soon was hooked on Caffeine as well as nicotine. The more cola I drank, the more butts I smoked. Later, I was to learn that caffeine burns the nicotine out of your mouth, which makes you hunger for more nicotine. The more I drank, of cola or coffee, the more I smoked. It was nothing for me to drink a 6 pack in the evening and smoke a quick pack of butts.
My pattern for my life was digging in deeper. Even playing poker for cigarettes and winning all the stale things didn't stop me now. I just drank more coke or coffee, which made me want more cigarettes. My intake was between one and two cartons per week by the time I was medically retired for other reasons eight and a half months later. My drinking had started as early in life as smoking, though it took a few years more to develop the bondage.
While in the Armed Forces my drinking went full bore! Now I was drinking more, smoking more and loving it less but couldn't seem to find the will to quit. I began during this time to yearn at times to be free from the bondage, but couldn't find the will I always boasted I had. "I can quit anytime I want to" was only a boastful bunch of words. Hot air! In reality I couldn't quit, though I was afraid to admit that openly. It was hard enough to even ponder it in my heart. Pride, the downfall of man, had taken deep root in my heart.
On my twentieth birthday, I forged an identification card to be able to buy cigarettes and liquor. Now I was not only addicted, I was a liar. Soon, because I could buy, other vo-tec students were asking me to buy them both cigs and booze. I became a provider as well as a user.
On one occasion I awoke about mid-afternoon parked in a steep ditch. I got out of the car and looked to see how I had entered the ditch, but there were no tire tracks behind my tires. No bent or damaged grass. No indication of HOW my car had come to be where it was. The hand of God at work in my life! For the next twelve years, that's how it was. First, I would attempt to quit, which only added to my usage. Reading self-help books only frustrated me, as they always offered all these steps of quitting and my pattern was "failure to follow steps" that I read about. It seemed to work for a few days, but when the demand became greater than the supply to my will, the usage would return. Why try if you keep failing became my motto. I felt that I'd be like this the rest of my life.
In 1976, at the age of 29, my sister Jean began to share of her faith in Jesus the Son of God. Of course, because we were raised Roman Catholic, we knew "of" Jesus. Yet she seemed to radiate this Jesus that she knew. There seemed to be life in her that I didn't have. Even my father would urge me to go to her house because she, found what you've been looking for. I would wonder sometimes how he could know what I was looking for. I avoided her at first. She was 3 years older, and we hadn't gotten along the best in the past.
That was the year that we children [my siblings and I] (there were 15 of us alive) began to help my parents build a new house. As we put all our talents to work, we were finishing their new house and beginning to work together as we had back in our youth. I decided to go and visit Jean. To be bold and gutsy, I drank a few beers, took the rest of the case and headed her way. After knocking on her door, she greeted me and invited me in. "Can I bring my beer?" I inquired. She gave me a strange look, and said, "Yes, of course." I smiled smugly and went back to my vehicle and got the case, and of course, my wife.
That night I never finished the open bottle I had in my hand when I entered her house. She talked for three hours of Jesus, in whom she believed. I was fascinated and stirred with longing. Perhaps this was the way out of the bondage I was in. There was such an empty place in my heart. But, of course, my pride stood tall and strong. "That's okay for you," I said, but I'll keep my beliefs. (What beliefs did I have, but bondage)? She didn't press me, just let me know of her belief in Jesus. She LOVED him. You could see it all over her. She LOVED HIM. I had never seen that kind of love before. My heart throbbed with longing for that kind of love.
I returned many times to talk with her that fall though I continued to smoke, drink, and do all that I had been doing. One night, after working with her at the new house all day, (she didn't talk to me there, just sang to HIM all the day long). I would listen to her songs of personal love, and my heart would long for this kind of love. That night, while at her house, I began to write a scripture verse on a napkin. Mark 4:23. That's what I wrote. I thought that would just stop her once and for all. I didn't even know what that verse said. She smiled and opened her bible and read the scripture. Mark 4:23 If any man hath ears to hear, let him listen........ "Today is the day of your salvation," she said. “It is time for you to believe on this Jesus that God has raised from the dead. It is time for you to put all your trust in Him. It is the time for you to invite Christ to come and live in your heart.”
My heart began to long for Him with the deepest longing, and I nearly cried. Pride had reached it's end. It couldn't stand against the God of all creation. I would have to humble myself and be as a little child crying out for Him who waited for me throughout all ages. Indeed, it was my day of salvation, so I prayed to Him. "Jesus, I believe you are God's son and that He raised you from the dead. I invite you to come into my heart and my life. Indeed, I am a sinner and far from your Father. Come in and rescue me from this life of sin and bondage I live in. With my heart, I take your hand and draw you gently into my life. Amen."
Gently, My heart opened to Him. He spoke to me. "Behold" was all He said, then He pointed beyond. My whole being went to where He pointed. It was a great Lake of Fire. There were a multitude of souls there in utter torment. There was the total absence of Love there. It was indescribably horrible. I had just been shown where I had been headed and what eternal abode He had RESCUED me from. It is SO REAL! I heard their cries with my whole being. I heard their cries of eternal torment.
In the early morning hours, as I lay on Jean's couch where I had slept, my heart turned to Him who now lived inside me. To Him who had saved me from that eternal lake of fire. I loved Him. I LOVED Him. He Loved me. He LOVED me. I could feel it. My faith had brought an intimate experience with God Himself. Suddenly, the still small voice, of the anointing that now abides in me spoke. "Ray, open the door of your heart again". I did as instructed. It seemed so easy now. As I did, I heard the Spirit of God again. "Behold," He said, and pointed from within my heart. I suddenly was where His finger had pointed. I beheld a huge mountain, upon which was a throne. It radiated Love, Kindness, and Mercy. There was a multitude of saints surrounding this mountain and they were all worshiping the One who Sat on this Throne! Suddenly, worship poured out of my being towards Him who had saved me. My inner being rejoiced with peace and quietness. My new life had begun.
That day the grass was greener, the sky was bluer. Darkness was gone from my eyes. I was born from above, as the scriptures say. I had been given the spirit of adoption, where I could cry "Abba, Abba, Father, Father." A new type of strength began to flow out of my inner being. I was on a new walk with the One who had created all that I could see, and what I could not see. A New Way of Walking... And so began a wonderful new way of life for me. I no longer felt condemned in life. The burden of guilt that had been on me was gone forever. It just was so wonderful to be free. I wasn't going to church or anything like that, but I was always aware of Christ living in me. This wasn't a religious experience, this was a LIFE experience. I had invited LIFE Himself to come into my heart and to change me.
My attitudes about life began to change first. He dealt strongly with me for the way I was judging everyone. Then began the dealings of God with my drinking. It had gotten very bad by this point. He was so gentle. You'll find about this in another booklet that I'm writing about how to get free from the old wine, and get the new wine of God's Spirit. This changing of my life from the old wine that is death filled, to a new wine that is full of Life, Love, and Joy is what gave me the strength to face the hard facts of my bondage to smoking. Coffee.....
After my personal encounter with the Holy Spirit on July 1, 1978, I began to earnestly pray about my bondage to smoking. It had grown to four packs a day. The day I prayed for His help in smoking something began to come to the light. I was a consumer of huge amounts of coffee daily. My co-workers timed my coffee drinking at my work place. It averaged six cups per hour during a nine hour workday. This was besides the coffee I drank to wake up before going to work, the coffee I drank during the 45 minute ride to work, the coffee I drank on the way home from work and the coffee I drank before I went to bed. (Of course with all that coffee I didn't get much sleep!) The hour I prayed about quitting smoking I began to forget to drink my coffee. It would become cold and oil-slicked (I worked in a machine shop then), and that's when I started drinking cold coffee. It didn't matter anymore hot or cold; it was just coffee. My usage dropped about forty percent within about a week of time.
Still smokin’.... My smoking had not been affected at all by my prayers. I was disappointed greatly. I had seen people go to the alter in some churches and be set free instantly from smoking. I went to those alters, but no freedom. Yet, I believed there was a way for me to be free. Why was my power over my will so small? Why didn't I have the power of my will to just stop? Why was it so difficult to lay them down and walk away?
It was during this time that I was given a glimpse into the spiritual realm and saw the DEMONIC spirit that is ruling over smokers. He filled the room where I was and was as PROUD and ARROGANT as could be. With arms crossed, he inhaled all the smoke I was blowing to him. I was his servant when I smoked, puffed with pride like him. The more I smoked, the bigger he seemed to be. If there were others in the same room smoking, he was even bigger. Then I got a glimpse of him as he ruled the smokers around the world. He was huge! What pride he displayed as the smoke came up to his nostrils. It was at that time that I remembered that when we as believers pray, our prayer come as incense into the nostrils of GOD. In one moment I would pray to my Heavenly Father and send incense into His nostrils. In the next moment I was smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke into the nostrils of this fat DEMON.
Having seen this there came a more clear determination to be free of this one who was master of this part of my life. Such a multitude of questions began to pour out of my heart to the one who had come to live in my heart. Where is my strength? In the scriptures I read, "My grace is sufficient for you, for in your weakness, My strength is perfected. As I poured over the meaning of this verse, my heart began to listen for Him to speak. Where had I given over my will, that I didn't have the will power to rule over sin? In the scripture again, I found Him saying, "If you continue in my word, you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free. The Answer at last! That I could do. The step I needed to be free; just continue in His word!
My heart began to sing. "I surrender all" became my favorite song. No longer could condemnation rule my life. I was walking in the Spirit of God. I refused to allow my heart to condemn me. God was greater than my heart and would bring the victory to me. My faith began to soar. I began to listen and talk to the Holy Spirit Who had become my friend and my Comforter. He stuck to me closer that any of my brothers. We were in LOVE! Know the Truth.... He said if I continued in His word, that I would know the truth. That's what I wanted most of all. That truth would make me free. It would liberate me from this bondage. It would give me what I sought for so intently.
My DAY was drawing near! Love God Only.... "Thou shalt love the Lord with all thy heart....You cannot serve two masters..... These two statements began to settle in my heart. How could I love God with all my heart if I loved cigarettes? But that fact was hard to swallow. I wanted to be free of these things; not love them. I resisted the idea that I actually "loved" them. I could contend with the thought of not serving two masters. I mean, how could I serve God if I was serving nicotine? But the fact that I loved... well, that was a bit too much. Yet, I had an intense desire to know the truth.
Slowly I began to ponder where my heart was. In the meantime I resisted any religious types of people who would put pressure on me to quit because I was a "Christian." I wasn't wanting to quit because I was a Christian, but because I was in bondage! Deep within my heart began a conversation with the Spirit of God about my way out. He began a time of fellowship about my exploring the truth as well as what is in my heart.
Humble yourself, I found myself saying, admit what is already there. The Truth will make you FREE! Well, I must love them then. That was the only conclusion I could come to. Since I didn't have the will power to just lay them down, it must be because I love them. That must be the truth. Suddenly, the Spirit of God began to speak to my heart. "Is that the way you were born?" After thinking for a moment, I replied, "No way. I wasn't born smoking, or having a desire to smoke. I was born only yearning for milk." "Now you know A truth," the Spirit spoke. Explore more of the truth according to the Scripture.
I began to recall scriptures I was reading about. Just simple words at first, like the words "spirit, soul, and body." I began to talk to the Holy Spirit Who was guiding me into the truth. "I am a spirit man, born of God, by His power and through His Word. I have a soul, which is the very center of my mind, intellect and emotions. I live in this body of clay, which has blood and life flowing through all the veins. Again, the Spirit spoke, "You have rightly said, "you are a spirit man, who lives in your body. It is your body where the problem lies."
As I pondered this, I again rose in heart and voice back to the Holy Spirit. "Since the problem lies in my body, I must state that my body must "love" smoking then. "Can your body "love" death?" WHOA, I thought, where does this come from? What do you mean LOVE death? Again, gently, the voice came in my inner man, "Every drag you take from that cigarette is filled with death itself. I never created the human body to breathe smoke into the lungs. It is destructive in nature and brings death and bondage. I am come that you might have Life and Life more abundantly. "But my body thinks they taste good, I replied. "Was your body created that way? Were you born thinking that way? Remember the first drag you ever had on a cigarette? Do you remember how you coughed with your first drag?"
As I stood in His presence, "Who was, and is, and is to come, in the presence of Him who is the same "Yesterday, today, and forever," I could not help thinking, "You were there when I had my first drag, you are here now, and you will always be here." Suddenly I remembered with clarity my first drag on a cigarette. With an older sister, I was experimenting... (or so I thought). In actuality I was entering the snare that would hold me captive for 18 years. As I took that first drag, I inhaled a bit of it and was immediately coughing and gagging. Ashamed of how I was reacting after watching them smoking so cool, I stated bodily, "That tastes good enough to have another drag." My body believed the lie I told it. It became subject to that lie. I puffed myself up, and then puffed in the smoke. This time just holding it in my mouth so I wouldn't cough. I was thinking at the time that it was okay because I didn't inhale it. But the nicotine was absorbed into my mouth and tongue anyway, and got into my blood stream. I felt good! Almost like a grown up. This can't be bad, it makes you feel big. Strong, Proud! Death had begun working in my members. My body must love smoking, it keeps doing it and demanding it. Gently the Spirit probed my heart, "Can a body that was created for life really enjoy death?" "Help me understand, I whispered back to Him.
Suddenly understanding was there. (I found later, that in Proverbs, chapter two, it says, "With the voice cry out for understanding). I knew my body was perverted in it's thinking. It thought death was good. It thought death tasted good. It thought smoke in the lungs was a good thing. But it was actually destroying the body; coating the lungs with tar. "My body is perverted in it's thinking, I shouted to the Spirit of God. He spoke quickly back, "Now you know the truth, and that truth shall make you free. Take my authority that has been given to you through your faith in Jesus, the Son of God, and command the spirit (attitude) of perverseness to be uprooted from your body. Command it to cast itself into the sea. A boldness began to arise in my soul from my inner man. "You perverse spirit that has been in my body, causing it to believe that smoking is good; that causes my body to love and crave smoking... I command you, in the mighty name of Jesus to be uprooted from my body and to cast yourself into the sea. I command you in the name of Jesus to be cast out of my body completely. Amen. I have commanded, it is so and I call you out forever. Amen.
I knew something had been done. But at this point, I didn't know what to feel or expect or to even think. I had no idea how to react to the command of faith that had risen in my soul. Not knowing what to do, I waited for my teacher, my guide, my Lord to show me the way to life. In a few moments, He brought to my remembrance, a Scripture reference in Romans 4:17, Who gives life to the dead and speaks of the non-existent things as if they existed. With fear and trembling before God I began to speak to my body. "I call you free from smoking. Body, I call you free from smoking. I call you free from demanding nicotine. I call you free from desiring a cigarette. Hands, I loose you from reaching for a cigarette. I loose you from lighting cigarettes. I loose you from picking up cigarettes. I have been anointed to preach Good News to you. I'm preaching to you that you are free from ever holding another cigarette to the lips of this body. Lungs, listen to my voice, you are free from all the smoke and tar that has kept you in bondage. Your are free from craving nicotine. You are free to breathe fresh air and enjoy it. You are free from desiring death. I kept this up for nearly 30 minutes.
It was just pouring out of me. I was preaching GOOD NEWS to my body for the first time in 18 years. Repentance began to come on me strong. I began to weep. I repented for my first cigarette. I apologized to my body for lying to it and telling it smoke tasted good. I repented for ever making it subject to a lie. The feelings that were flooding my soul seemed foolish. "Why am I doing this foolish thing, talking to my body?" I rose in the power of Jesus name, and broke the power of those words I had spoken so many years ago that had given away my power over my will. Strength began to return to my will. It seemed small at first, but over the next three months it grew.
Did I quit that day? NO, but something new began to stir in my soul. Something I had never heard preached. For the last few years, I had heard the faith message. "Faith without works is dead. You must put work to your faith." Suddenly, I was thinking of other Scriptures. John 1:13, ...which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. Don't try to use the will of the flesh to get free, don't try to use the will of man to get free, stay in the power of GOD. In the past, my willpower had been proven too lacking to quit. I didn't need another failure to mar my heart. I determined to stay in the Power of God, who calls things that were not as though they existed already. I kept smoking, and calling myself free.
My heart began to condemn me, saying, "if you really believe you are free, then you should try to stop smoking. It began to quote Scripture to me (faith without works is dead). It said that scripture over and over, until I seemed to hear words added to it that said, "faith without works is dead and you will be too if you don't try to quit. I cried out to my teacher, the Holy Spirit. He heard my cry and answered me out of His Holy temple (my heart). "Is it not written, ‘beloved, if your heart condemns you, God is greater than your heart and knows all things?’" I scrambled for the Bible again, remembering the Scripture in 1 John 3:20. "Do not let your heart condemn you for you have been taught by me to walk this way. Walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh. If your flesh is able to accomplish this by itself, it will have itself to boast of. If you walk as you are taught, you will have nothing to boast of, your boasting will be in God, who quickens the dead and calls things that are not as though they were."
Rejoicing in the victory that I now had in my soul, I continued on my life, believing I was free from smoking. I had received the deliverance when I prayed and gave the command of faith. Nearly a month passed. I began to forget to drink my coffee at work. It would get cold and layered with oil in the machine shop I worked in. I'd drink it cold. My body would complain of the cold coffee, and I'd just say, "Shut up and drink what I give you." A new thing was happening. Coffee.... What should be made clear, was that my coffee intake by this time had risen to approximately six cups per hour for my nine hour work day. This plus the thermos of coffee I drank on the way to work, plus the times I stopped on the way home from work to have a quick cup with the guys. Plus what I drank to wake up before I headed to work. MEGA CAFFEINE! And remember, it just burned the nicotine out of my system faster, which made my body want more smokes.
About a month after the initial command of faith on my part, one of the guys I worked with asked if I would trade of pack of my stronger cigarettes for a pack of his new 'low tar" ones. I agreed, and once I had agreed, he got me to make it two packs. Soon I was smoking those things, calling them weak, tearing the filter off to get more tar! I realized what I was doing, and made myself smoke them with filters on.
Suddenly, I heard the voice of my body cry out, "Break that stupid filter off this thing or get me a real cigarette." I was shocked, as I had not ever considered that the body has that way of communicating. Perhaps it was the Gift of Discerning of spirits that the Bible talks about. Whichever way it was, I heard my body thoughts in my mind. From my inner man, there arose strength and authority. "You'll get what I give you," came out of my mouth. My body was silent for a while. Then it began the self-pity feelings. As I began to feel sorry for myself for smoking these type of butts, up into my mind came the gentle assurance of the Holy Spirit and relief was quick in coming. "Because you talked to me that way, from now on I'm only buying those low tar kinds of cigarettes.
That day I bought my first carton of them. and as the days came and went, my four pack a day habit stayed the same, only the substance was changing. It seemed such a big change, yet was only small in chemical amount. Nearly two months passed this way. My body complaining, and my spirit ruling. When I look back and analyze it, I discover that I had regained power over my will which was given away in my youth. I became stronger and stronger. Yet I continued the same four pack a day habit. As well as the pattern now of calling my body free. I was continually preaching the Good News to my body with fervor.
I think you're crazy... That's the thing I heard the most from Christians around me. "Aren't you going overboard with this faith stuff? Faith without works is dead..." That came the most. The Spirit of God continually reminded me to stay in the faith. There were "works" there every time I called things that were not as though they existed already. There were "works" there every time I preached the Good News to my body that it was free from slavery. There were "works" there every time I told my body the shackles of the devil were broken and the spirit of slavery was brought to naught in my life. There were "works there every time I stood before the Throne of God declaring the Righteousness of Jesus rather than how righteous I was. Day of Deliverance...
Nearly three months after the command of faith was given, as the early morning hours came. I returned home from work about 4:00 am. It had been a long night. Numerous pots of coffee and four packs of cigarettes had passed through my body. As I sat on the sofa to find rest for my weary body and began to read the scriptures to find the wisdom and knowledge of Jesus Christ, I reached out for a cigarette. My pack was empty. There in the ashtray were two cigarettes that my wife had only half smoked. The deep menthol kind. I lit one, and smoked it. It was stale, but it was smoke. The smell of the stale thing was wretched. I continued to read the Psalms, finding quietness coming in my soul through the written Word of God. David had his struggles too, and always found quietness in God. Soon, my body was demanding another cigarette. As I reached for the second half-smoked thing in the astray, I caught myself. Why was I smoking a stale half smoked thing when I could go get a fresh pack of cigarettes from the bedroom? I got up from the sofa and walked across the living room floor towards the stairway. As I did so, there came a gentle breeze in my soul and gentle words. "You are all through smoking cigarettes," penetrated my heart.
In two more strides I was at the foot of the stairs. I stopped. What had I come over to the stairs for? I couldn't remember! I shrugged my shoulders and headed up to bed. My night's sleep was the most peaceful I think I've ever had.
Joy Comes in the Morning... The next morning I awoke around ten o'clock with the full knowledge that I was free from smoking forever. I remembered an article I had read that said that drinking lots of water and coffee flushes out the nicotine from your system. I poured them in over the next week. I began to feel like a water tank. Sunday morning we were off to church. I could feel my body going through some withdrawals, but it was minimal in feeling. As we came out of church, I suddenly craved a cigarette. My wife who was walking by my side suddenly said, "Man I need a cigarette, and proceeded to light one up and blew the first drag of smoke directly in my face. I nearly gagged at the smell. NEVER again has that craving feeling ever flashed through my soul. I smell the death in the smoke. I smelled the lies in that smoke.
Since that day, I have had several occasions when in the presence of those who smoke, but are not smoking at the moment, I will suddenly discern the need for a smoke. Within 30-45 seconds someone will suddenly voice out the feeling or just light up. Whether I discern the spirit or am touched by the feelings of their bodies I don't know. But one thing I know for sure; it can be discerned.
Healing... Nearly one year later, while attending a camp meetingin Minneapolis hosted by Kenneth and Gloria Copeland, the Spirit of God completed my deliverance and healing. Gloria spent the Saturday morning teaching the healing scriptures for three and a half hours. Then asked us to stand up on our feet and praise God for our healing. I had not even been thinking about my lungs. Slammed... I leaned over in my chair, as you usually do, to push myself to my feet. As I was leaning over, someone (and I do not know to this day who, whether it be human, angelic, or the Holy Spirit Himself,) SLAMMED me on the back with both hands flat. It drove all the air out of my lungs! A voice rang out in my spirit, "DON'T TURN AROUND, TAKE A DEEP BREATH OF AIR!" I immediately obeyed that voice and thank God Almighty I did.
I drew in the deepest breath of fresh air that had gone into my lungs in years. I could taste the dirt particles in the air. I could feel the dust inside my lungs from the air I had just breathed in. The tar was gone. "By His stripes I was healed." "Himself took all my infirmities". Everything I had heard that day was performed in my lungs. I was breathing the breath of God. The breath He intended me to breathe all the days of my life; free of smoke and tar. Now it is to Him, who is able to keep us until that day, that I praise and offer thanksgiving. It is because of Him that I can even write this with the hope and confidence that you will be inspired and blessed (made happy and changed) and overcome the devil by the word of my testimony. Amen. Remi J. Springer WORLD OUTREACH MINISTRY, PO BOX 45208 Coon Rapids, MN 55448-0208
Email NOW: RemiS@aol.com or remi@spwom.com